Monday, January 16, 2006

Down days and days off kilter

For the past couple of days, I've been feeling down, uncomfortable in my skin. I've had trouble focusing and staying on task. This happens to me now and then and often for no discernable reason. I think it has to do with the ebb and flow of being and getting older.

Before, when a blue day or two would hit, I would bike my way through it or scrap til I dropped. I don't even feel I have the energy to do this and my knee starts hurting if I bike too far.

Part of my enui I am sure has to do with facing the changes and uncertainties of our new house and move away from here. I moved so much as a child (ten schools in twelve years), that I put down deep roots. I know that I will be happier closer to my kids and my friends. Meanwhile, we have so much to do, I feel overwhealmed.

I am looking forward to the scrapbooking retreat at the end of the month. I am frustrated with my printer and how slow Harry, my big puter is making the assembly of my kits difficult. I am also looking forward to CHA in Vegas. I haven't been to Vegas since the mid 70s. I am looking forward to seeing friends and making new ones.

This is such a mismash of jumbled thoughts, I am hesitant to push the publish post button, but will because this is also a big part of who I am.

10 comments:

mae said...

Hi, Jules,
Change IS difficult. While there is excitement at the possibilities, there has to be a bit of confusion at losing the familiar. And just knowing all of the energy required to make the move has to be a bit overwhelming at times. Growing older is a task for even the most content among us. I know it has been for me. The good thing about the "blue" days is, they usually pass and, sometimes we learn from them!

So, enjoy your day as best you can for---"this too shall pass". And, we love you, even when you ARE blue!

Mae

Kath said...

Welcome to my world, twinks. I am loathe to say, "I know exactly how you feel", as almost always we have no way of knowing exactly how someone else feels, but in this case, I feel like that may be the case. While I was terribly excited to move to FL and be near my friends and family, there was a huge part of me that just 'bogged down' when I thought of leaving VA, where I had been so very happy. Add to that - January - what a horrendous month - really, truly a useless month. A ton to do - overwhelming. And when I'm overwhelmed, I cannot move. So I'm thinking some of this is what's got you down. But from someone who goes there often, I promise - there is a light - be it at the end of a tunnel or the end of January (think crop, wine, crop, wine...) and do as we all must at some times - when at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. Help's acomin.... Hugs, Kath

ribinscraps said...

Jules,
I didn't know you are moving! I hope every thing runs smoothly.

Robin (ribinscraps, mamma monkey)

Ruth said...

Never easy stepping outside the comfort zone, I have to force myself from time to time, moving, changing jobs, they are things that can really leave you trying to make sense of things. As Kath says the end of the month will bring laughter, friends and scrapping and if that doesn't get you refocused nothing will because it sounds perfect. Focus on your 'light' and get some fresh air. As you so beautifully put it 'this too shall pass' (that Jules quote has got me through a lot!).

Gail said...

Take care of yourself and you'll feel better soon. Sounds like you need a "me" day. I bet the moving is a big part of it. When we moved from Florida to Vermont, I was 100% sure it was the right move for us, but it still was hard to leave friends, family and the familiar. We are very happy here but I'll tell you, the first year we lived here was very hard and lonely for me. These things take time and will work out. I know you will make your new house a Home in no time and have all sorts of new adventures awaiting you.
Gail

Pam in Moncton said...

Hi Jules

Pam in Moncton said...

Hi Jules
I know what you mean about those days when you just can't seem to do anything. Happens here too. Sometimes I think things do get a bit overwhelming, whether it is an anticipated change or something else. Anyway, you do have some good things to look forward to! I think CHA in Las Vegas would be so much fun!
Pam

Anne said...

Hi sweetie,

Sorry things are blue, but frankly, it's a lovely color!! Think about the hues of it, and before long you'll be conjuring up a layout, and away you'll go! I'm not trying to diminish or in any way trivilize the feelings you have--I've have plenty of my share of blue days, so I know of what you speak. As others have commented, this WILL pass, and in the meantime perhaps riding it out is what you need to do. I'll close my eyes and pretend that I am riding with you through Koreshan. If the idea helps, close your eyes and come join me!
Love you...

Whippet said...

Hi Jules:
I so sympathize. Just last night I was wandering through the house, wondering if I'd ever be truly happy here. I'm sure I will, I do like it here - but it was hard leaving my home of 18 years and a city where I'd been since 1968, just the change in architectural style threw me for a loop :-) All my writing friends are in Georgia, and I haven't made scrapping friends yet, but I know it will pass. I'm proof positive that we can do it, moving twice in six months...something I don't want to repeat again. Sending Hugs to you!
Jan

Cynthia said...

Oh, Jules! I hope that you are better! Sending you good thoughts and prayers for good health and many scrap pages!

BTW, I hope to see you in CHA Vegas! :) Can't wait to meet you!