The past month has been a bit on the rough side for E and me and our friends who have stepped up in ways beyond our comprehension. First, E's back surgery and his slow but sure recovery. And then this pesty thing with my arm (healing slowly but surely). All this has taught me something about the two of us...we love to give to others...our time, our love, our support, our care BUT we have a hell of a time accepting help from others unless they are family. And the hard lesson we have learned is that so many of our friends are family and giving is a reciprocal thing.
When E was in the hospital for his back surgery, the Women Who Do Lunch bunch, other local and not so local friends offered to help in any way they could during his recuperation and to aid me while he was in the hospital. Did we accept a single offer...no. And looking back, what an unkindness we rendered our friends. (Apologies now)!
And then (long story cut short) I injured my arm, party planned, food ordered, out of town company flying in and traveling across the state to help fete my beloved's 70th b'day. And sitting there while our friend, Steve, vacuumed and rearranged furniture and our friends Kim and Mitch dusted, swept and helped set up...drove us nuts! This was our job and it made us feel feeble and old and ...LOVED.
they did this out of love for us. And that was the revelation...if asked, we would do the same and that our friends knew that.
We all need to allow others to contribute to our lives. There are so many ways to prove we love our friends and the best gift we can give to another is when they offer help, aid, cheers etc is to say YES and THANKS. We've learned a hard lesson. Both of us are proud people. And we have realized that it is ok to let others contribute to our lives; it is not a sign of weakness rather a measure of trust and appreciation and love.
So, to all our friends who said, "can I help? what can I do? call and I'll be there! Bless you and thank you for your friendship and you can count on us to accept your loving offers should any more misfortune befall us (knocking wood).